Coming to terms
by hahuh20
Summary: Can someone from his past help him come to terms?
1. Let go

God…..did Aaron miss him it had only been two months since Jackson forgave Aaron for punching him because he couldn't handle his feelings.

As his mind wondered back to that day….._he remembered the exact moment his fist came in contact with Jackson's gorgeous face…..it was all over. He thought there was no way Jackson would ever want to have anything to do with him. But that was partly the reason he did it, because if he could get rid of the source behind all these unwelcomed feelings that he tried so hard to resist….maybe, just maybe he could continue to lie to those around him and most importantly to himself….._

But things were different now, Jackson had forgiven him, everyone knew and accepted him, but if only he could too.

Why isn't he speaking to me? I know I messed up; I know he deserves to be treated better but I just can't help it when I'm around Jackson's **campy**friends. Urrghh!

He just hated it, from his view they were the reason why people looked at them different and he couldn't hide his feeling towards them.

But no matter the reason the bottom line was that he had ruined Jackson's night all because of his own insecurities…but how much longer would Jackson keep avoiding him. Aaron couldn't bear going another minute like this, he felt like his stomach was twisted up in knots.

He could fix this; he had to show Jackson that he didn't make a mistake when he gave him a second chance all those months ago. Because although he didn't show it, he knew he couldn't remember a time when he had been this happy and it was down to Jackson.

He let out a sigh as a sudden loud and piercing sound snatched him from his thoughts only to see Clyde squirming unable to control his desperate need for Aaron's attention. He couldn't help but give Clyde a half attempt at a smile and ruffle his dog's thick coat. Clyde rolling on his back to let Aaron know that he wanted his belly scratched.

"You stupid dog"

patting his dog on his side as he tells him, "Come on, let's get back"

"He can't just avoid me, I won't let him." he simply stated.

* * *

It was early august and there was a nice breeze coming in from the window cooling his back, helping to calm his nerves as he hammered away at the floor boards which also provided some therapeutic relief.

With a huff he mimicked Aaron's last words "Want me to go sip Pina Coladas!" god Aaron could be a right when he wanted to be and that was most of the time.

While he was too busy beating on the floor a lot harder than necessary, he didn't realize that he had company listening in on his pathetic rant.

"You really have to work on your imitation of me, mate. I tend to sound a lot more ignorant then that," said Aaron not knowing how to announce his presence as he saw his boyfriend beat on a piece a wood probably wishing it was actually his face.

For an instant Jackson tensed not willing to turn around because he didn't want Aaron to see the smirk that swept across his face. He was still so anger and frustrated that the builder wasn't going to give Aaron the satisfaction.

He wanted to say "more like an asshole actually"

But instead he settled with "What do you want _Aaron_ I'm working!"

After a few moments with no answer from his boyfriend, he finally stood up knowing his face wouldn't betray him this time because now his frustration was written all over his face.

"Well…" starting to lose his patience which was becoming a lot easier since Aaron come into his life.

* * *

Great! This is your master plan standing here, staring with no words to say because hearing the anger in Jackson's voice knowing he was the reason made him feel two inches tall.

"Jackson….." a whisper so low he wasn't sure the builder even hear him.

"Look, I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry for kicking off the other night I know I should have just kept my mouth shut and made sure you had a good time on your birthday, any decent boyfriend would've and I know I don't deserve to have you in my life but…"

He took a step towards Jackson only to stop when he saw his boyfriend take a step back to maintain the distance between them.

'_wow that hurt'_

He just continued trying to seem unfazed by Jackson's small form of rejection.

"But if you think I'm not going to fight for you, YOU'RE WRONG!" basically grinding the words through his teeth.

As Jackson was listening all he could hear was the word 'fight' over and over and over in his head…taking it purely out of context, it just set him over the edge.

"THAT'S JUST IT!...that's the problem Aaron.

Why does everything have to be a fight with you?

You can't accept us, if you can't even accept yourself"

"Yesss! I can" Aaron pleading for Jackson to hear him out.

As if he hadn't even heard him, Jackson just kept drilling into him.

"After all this time I don't think god has the kind of patience that I've had trying to help you deal with all this but you just won't change, will yah.

You're always on about people not accepting who you are but that's all you do is judge people and that makes you no better than them, does it!"

"Just go Aaron I can't do this anymore, It's over!" struggling to hold back the tears that threatened to spill down his face because the hurt that cursed Aaron's face mirrored his own.

The fight in Aaron seemed to drain right out of him because seeing and hearing the pain he caused Jackson was so overwhelming.

He knew he would have to let him go because he wouldn't allow himself to be the cause of any more damage.

"You're right. Jackson and I'm sorry." he choked out as he ran out of Dale head not believing his voice could handle anymore than that.

It was getting dark and the air was slightly colder hitting his face hard, as he took off in no particular direction he just needed to do what he did best…...run.

TBC


	2. Past and Present

Thanks for the reviews and to those who read it, and subscribed I really appreciate it. Sorry I was hoping to post this sooner but life doesn't always care. Probably update every two days or so hopefully. Hope you like it! First fanfiction so your comments would really be appreciated tell me what you think ;)

* * *

It's been three days since Jackson had ended things with Aaron….three very long and lonely days especially at night.

Because when it was just he and Aaron in the safety of his bedroom there were no doubts, no fears, and no resistance because what Aaron couldn't express in words, he showed with his touch.

Oh how his young mechanic could make him feel like he was his entire world and that there wasn't anything he desired more than being with him.

That's why I held on so long because I thought I couldn't possible live without experiencing those moments where Aaron, the part Aaron saved only for me would open up and allow himself to be vulnerable and sensitive.

Most people couldn't possibly understand what I saw in Aaron and never shied away from expressing their lack of understanding.

* * *

Flashback

_We had just finished satisfying our physical need for each other but Aaron was still trailing soft kisses from my chest to my belly button sending little shivers up my spine. He looked up at me with his wanting eyes but all I could do was laugh._

_Aaron's faces quickly changed from wanting to pure confusion._

"_**What!"**_

"_**Nothing just the way you looked at me got me thinkin'."**_

"_**About what?"**_

"_**Do you remember that night you came looking for me at the club…after you so rudely kicked me out of you house." **__raising one eyebrow knowing how much Aaron loved it_

"_**Yeah I remember I know I was being a right prat"**_

_Seeing that Aaron was still little confused as to what he was getting at, he continued_

"_**I had to chase you down because you thought I was blowing you off because I didn't like you… god you were so edgy that night. But anyways when I finally caught up with you I just remember telling you that I never sleep with anyone on the first date"**_

_Aaron suddenly tensed. __**"You were lying weren't you"**__ almost whining __**"I knew it"**_

"_**Noooo"**__ realizing the conversation wasn't going as planned __**"Of course I meant it"**_

"_**I'm just saying that the way you looked at me with so many emotions plastered on your face; apologetic but mostly desire. I swear I remember looking into your eyes and I knew if I didn't walk away now I would have broken my promise."**_

_Feeling the mechanic relax and then looked up and he rested his chin on Jackson's chest with a smirk on his face._

"_**Well I can't help it if you find me irresistible" **_

"_**Yeah right your eyes were practically begging for it" **__he could help but laugh at Aaron disagreeing face."_

_Aaron sudden grabbed hold of Jackson's wrist and pinned him down as he positioned himself so he towered over my boyfriend. Before Jackson could even try to resist Aaron had captured his lips in a passionate kiss after a long moment he finally pulling back._

_Aaron leaned in and whispers into the builder's neck. __**"We'll see whose begging now" **__kissing Jackson's swollen lips as he felt a moan escape from his lover's lips._

* * *

Jackson couldn't help but smile as he thought about their good days but his smile didn't last long because now he was no longer in Aaron's room; he no longer had those sweet moments because he had thrown in the towel just like everyone else in Aaron's life. It got to be little bit too much to handle so he legged it leaving Aaron to deal with his problems alone.

Burying is his face in his hands,

Unable to hold his frustration inside; in his head he could hear his mother say _"I said to myself, I said hazel you got to be center stage" _

"**He's the one that messed up, why should I feel bad about moving on, no one would blame me. He'll meet someone else; they can deal with my head case of a boyfriend – ex boyfriend!" **

But just the thought of Aaron being with another bloke and sharing his bed was more than Jackson was ready for.

* * *

"**Aaron!"** Paddy screamed stopping Aaron before he disappeared to God knows where.

Aaron looked at paddy with sympathy; he knew his drunken nights caused Paddy to worry about how he's been coping with the break up. It wasn't fair that he was shutting Paddy out but he just wanted to forget about how this was making him feel. He just wanted to keep busy taking extra hours at garage to then head to Bar West and down pint after pint secretly hoping he'd run into Jackson but it never happened. That was his only hope of running into him because Jackson sent a few of his builder friends to take over at Dale Head for the next two weeks.

"**Paddy I'm fine, I'm just going out to visit Adam haven't seen him in awhile so…."** he could tell Paddy was convinced but he didn't argue

"**Alright have a good night" **

"**Thanks Paddy"** knowing he should have given him more reassurance

He decided he needed a change of scenery because in Bar West all he could think about were the times he spent with Jackson.

He decided to try a bar on the other side of town called 'Barcode' he heard about from Adam of all people, way back when he first came out in his attempt to show his support.

He was finishing a cig right outside the bar before he went in just to calm his nerves. He was never really into trying new things and felt anxious about going in.

Next thing he knew his cig went falling out of his hand because the door swung open and slammed in his arm.

"**What the fu-"** ready to kick off with the idiot that wasn't watching where they were going.

"**Sorry mate I didn-"**

Both men couldn't help but stare at each other, not having seen each other for awhile but they recognized each other right away.

"**Aaron, Aaron Livesy I can't believe it"** the other man said in an effort to break the silence

At the sound of the man's deep voice, Aaron attempted to compose himself.

"**Kyle..?"** but failed miserably, that was all he could seem to come up with still shocked to see him and a little panicked.

This was a guy from my old neighborhood, the first boy that made me realize that I was different because he made me have feelings that I was supposed to feel for girls. I always tried to act 'normal' never trying to deal with my feelings because I thought they were wrong and didn't understand why I wasn't like everyone else. Although I resisted my inner desires I still couldn't help coming up with every excuse to hanging out with him and his buddy just to be around him. And now he's standing here as I'm about to go into this **GAY BAR** FUCK would he know, could him tell, what would he say all these thoughts flooded into my head all at once.

What was he going to do….?

How was he going to get out of this situation?

TBC

Please review and subscribe thanks ;)


	3. Messy, Just a mess

Sorry about the long and over due update I'm hoping once this semesters over I'll have a lot more time... cuz I'm enjoying doing this story

Thanks for the reviews and support... makes me want to write more if you like this chapter let me know send me review of what you think :)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Emmerdale or it's characters, they belong to ITV;

or the lyrics used in this story

this chapter picks up from where the last chapter stops

* * *

Stuttering for the words he quickly uttered, _"Uh…uh… w-well see yah around, yeah"_ he was ready to get out of there as fast as possible but as he turned to go he was grabbed by the arm.

_"Hey where you off too…."_ as Kyle pointed toward the bar_…"were you planning on going in?" _he continued before Aaron could respond, _"We could go in and grab a beer, you know catch up and everything, it's seems like an alright place"_ with a warm smile that seemed so at ease

I noticed Kyle was still holding my arm, he probably didn't even realize it himself but I did maybe more than I should have.

_"Nah you're alright I was about to get off and that's not exactly my kind of place."_

Just then here was a shift in Kyle's expression, if he didn't know any better he could have sworn it was disappointment but just like that it was gone.

Finally removing his hand from Aaron's arm and stuffing them deep into his jean pockets he said _"Oh alright…"_

_"….Well listen, maybe we could, you know get together some other time in a place that's more your '**type**' I bet it would be a right laugh, so-soo what ya think?" Kyle sounded hopeful_

Kyle's chatty persistence reminder him of Jackson. 'Jackson!' how badly he had screwed up their relationship because he refused to come to terms with what he was.

Why do I always have to think about him….'damn it'…..no I have to move on and work on myself I have to forget him and hope he's doing the same because he deserves to be with someone that's ready to give him what he needs.

Aaron desperately wanted to be it but right now he wasn't and it was about time he accepted that.

Kyle must have mistaken Aaron's pause as a 'no' so he quickly spoke _"Yeah right, probably a bad idea anyways….well have a good one."_

_"Wait, I'm sorry –- I mean yeah that would be mint"_

Kyle chirped _"Okay cool give me your mobile I'll type my number in"_ without thinking Aaron handed his phone over and took Kyle's to the same.

Kyle flipped the phone open to find a good looking brown-eyed guy smiling back at him from Aaron's background.

_"Ummmm…..a good mate of yours"_ Kyle questioned

_"What?"_ looking up as he finished saving his mobile, just as he asked Kyle showed him what he was talking about it, it was a picture of Jackson. He felt like his stomach was doing summersaults and his heart was racing a million miles per second.

_"Yeah, yeah just a good mate"_ hoping Kyle didn't notice the shakiness his in voice.

Why couldn't I just admit it, he couldn't possibly believe that, I mean how many guys have pictures of their mates but I just couldn't accept that I'd been found out….I just couldn't.

_"Listen mate what you playin at?" _Kyle asked.

_"You what?"_Aaron spat

_"I mean I invite you in to have a drink thinking you were about to go in anyways then you come with all this shit about it not being your 'type' of place. I mean I don't know about you but I don't have any pictures of my mates on my phone…." _mirroring Aaron's thought clearly exposing the obvious flaw in his explanation.

_"…Unless he's more than mates?"_

Aaron dropped his head down….. It just seemed to click for Aaron "was Kyle gay?" thinking about where Kyle was coming out from, why he was so comfortable going back in….

How can I be sure though, I mean Adam's been to gay bars with me before doesn't mean he's gay, Kyle couldn't be….right?

_"Aaron, Aaron…are you….." _but before Kyle could even get THE word out Aaron took off

_"AARRONN, stop!" _he could hear Kyle pleading for him to stop but he pretended not to hear and just kept going until he made it to the bus stop. By the time the bus came it felt like years had gone by. Finally, he was able to go limp against the hard bus seat, feeling completely drained.

Why had his night turned out to be such a complete disaster? He knew the answer, it was him, it was his own doing at least some things never change. He could always count on making a mess of his life, always ready to dig himself a little deeper.

* * *

The next morning when he woke up, even though he never picked up a single pint of lager the night before that didn't stop his head from pounding like mad. Aaron didn't get much sleep instead he tossed and turned most of the night.

He couldn't seem to get the events from last night out of his head. Although he was used to making himself look like an absolute idiot, it always seemed to surprise him when he reached a new low.

Well at least he wasn't planning on laying eyes on Kyle Walker again. And maybe it was a good thing that Jackson wouldn't be around he couldn't promise himself that he wouldn't practically beg for Jackson to take him back at this point despite all his ranting.

Bringing his hands up to his face in an attempt to rub away the little hint of grogginess that threatened to drag him back to sleep.

Right as he made that final decision he was taken from his thoughts by a unfamiliar sound but as he focused more he realized his jacket was ringing well more like singing,

_**|"You want me to come over I got an excuse  
Might be holding your hand but I'm holding it loose"|**__**  
**_

but he didn't understand why his phone sounded different he had never bought any stupid little ringtones he just had this obnoxious one that always irritated Ryan. As it keeping playing Aaron quickly searched in his jacket.

_**|"Go to talk then we choke it's like our necks in a noose  
Avoid the obvious we should be facing the truth"|**_

_"Shit"_ Aaron cursed himself but not loud enough to wake Paddy

He recognized the phone, it was Kyle's and "_Aaron calling_" was flashing on the screen from when he had saved it yesterday but he knew if he answered it he'd have to face what he did yesterday and he wasn't ready. The phone finally stopped ringing and moments later the phone flashed with a missed call and a text.

He couldn't help but read it, **"Listen sorry about yesterday, all I want is to deal with our phone problem, I swear nothing more, please call me" – K**

Aaron didn't understand why the text bothered him so much as the words "nothing more" lingered in his head.

He placed the phone down on his bed and decided to jump in the shower and get ready for work before he figured out what he was going to do about this stupid mess.

It was the first night Jackson was able to sleep through maybe this was a sign that things were going to get easier.

After a few moments of groans and over exaggerating stretching and a few failed attempts to get up.

**"God I hate mornings"** talking to himself **"well mate, picked the wrong job then, didn't yah?"**

But despite his protesting he finally managed to get out of bed to start getting ready for work. When the whole situation with Aaron happened he couldn't bear coming to work and risking the chance more like the absolute certainty that he'd run into the mechanic because they needed space. But last night he decided that the only way things were going to settle and they could move on like adults he'd have to face him instead of hiding out 'til the dust died down.

So last night he called up his buddies and thanked them for helping out but told them he'd be returning to the job sooner than expected. He knew his buddies weren't too happy about the last minute change of mind but none of them voiced it.

**"I hope I'm ready for this, don't loss you head, Jay"** letting out a loud sigh as he jumped in to the shower.

* * *

Planning on bring Kyle into the next one but i want to know if you'd like to hear what he's think as well or do you think it would be to much since I've tapped in aaron and jackson's thoughts

would really like to know you opinion on this Thanks

Please review and subscribe thank ;)


	4. Easier said than done

First I just want to apologize for the long absence I official finished school yesterday and now I have all the time in the world to finish this.

It's my first fanfiction so having trouble figuring out where I want this to go I always have an idea and then the story goes somewhere completely different so I hope this is chapter doesn't suck to bad.

Thanks for the reviews and support... makes me want to write more if you like this chapter let me know send me review of what you think :)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Emmerdale or its characters, they belong to ITV

XX

After getting out of the shower Aaron walked across the small hallway into his bedroom instantly feeling a chill as a breeze came in through his open window to caress his slightly wet body. He quickly crossed the bedroom to shut the window as he heard the haunting ringtone coming from Kyle's phone.

He knew he couldn't just ignore him what did he expect, that Kyle would be up for calling it even; swapping his iphone for an out-of-date flip phone if only it were that easy.

Finally with one last comforting rub across his shaved head, Aaron grabbed the phone and pressed talk before he could talk himself out of it.

After a silence pause that seemed to stretch on for eternity he said **"Hey…"**

**"So…I've learned a lot of new things about you in the last 24 hours"** I could tell he was trying to ease the tension right from the start.

**"Oh, yeah?"** happy to go along with it as long as it eased the pressure off of me

**"Yeah, I've learned you run really, really fast, you're apparently deaf, and you steal phones"** Aaron might have gotten defensive if he didn't hear the laugh in the other man's voice.

Aaron had the sudden need to explain his actions,** "Mate, I'm sorry about last night and -"**

Not allowing Aaron to continue,** "No, it should be me apologizing."** Kyle said

**"I really shouldn't have gotten into your business like that and making assumptions, that wasn't right"**

Aaron knew he should have come clean and admit who he is and that Kyle wasn't wrong for assuming but he just wasn't ready for his reaction.

**"Listen can we just forget about yesterday…. how we gonna deal with our phones cuz as much as I like using yours I'm desperate to get my _'stylist'_ phone back"** Getting a breathless laugh in response. Aaron loving how easy it was to tease, which made him feel like an idiot for worrying so much.

Actually hearing Kyle laughing did something to Aaron he just didn't know what it was, all he knew was it made him feel good and guilty at the same time. He knew this guy from his childhood but he really didn't know anything about him; the jury is still out on whether or not he's even gay and if Aaron was even willing to take that chance and tell him the truth in order to find out.

**"Well I don't mind making a trip out to where you are… where is that exactly..?"** Kyle quizzed.

**"Eh - Emmerdale know where?"** _I can't believe I'm agreeing to this_

**"Yeah I've probably passed though once or twice….where should I meet ya?"**

'_If we meet at home…urgh not in the mood to deal with Paddy's endless questioning, definitely not the pub running into me mum would be a right pain…The garage was going to have to be the best of the worse places to meet I can deal with Cain's stupid jokes as per usual.' _

**"Well if yah want just stop by the garage I work at; can't miss it it's the only one in the village, heading there now so whenever's good for you just drop by mate"**

**"Yeah, mate….be there around 11" **as he finally hangs up

Aaron let himself fall down onto his bed before letting out a big sigh as if he'd been holding his breath the entire time.

**"That wasn't that bad, just try not to act like an idiot!"** _Like that was even possible._

Aaron could tell it was going to be long day.

Grabbing some boxers, from the draw slipping them and pull on his pants and overalls then made it out the door thankfully with no sign of Paddy.

* * *

Jackson took a few deep breathes as he passed by the sign saying he was entering Emmerdale.

Finally passing right by the garage finding it impossible not to look convincing himself that he wasn't looking for him it was simply in his view that's all. But what he wasn't ready to see was Aaron seemingly put together leaning over the front of a car trying to wash the windshield not seeming as effected by their distance as he was. Why did that bother him so much telling himself that it was his brilliant idea to end things with Aaron the least he could was face up.

Deciding that he was going to attempt to keep his distance he parked his car in front instead between the house and the garage slightly out of Aaron's view not wanting him to realize that he was working.

Just as he thought he was out of the clear he heard his name.

**"JACKSON!"** Pearl shouted for all the world to hear.

But instead of looking at Pearl his head snapped straight up toward where the mechanic was and sure enough Pearl's announcement was successful because the young mechanic was no longer with his back to him but instead his eyes locked on him and for a moment Jackson couldn't move or think, trapped in a longing that he couldn't stop feeling whenever he looked into Aaron's blue eyes. The moment didn't last long Aaron was the first to break away, releasing Jackson from his grasp.

**"Jackson?"** Pearl sounded quite antsy she must have been trying to get his attention but he just couldn't hear. Finally he was ready to acknowledge her, anything to distract him from what just happened.

**"So-sorry Pearl how've you been?"** knowing she was quite fond of him, she couldn't possibly stay peeved for long.

**"Hello love! Didn't mean to get in your way just missed you around here haven't seen you for days…..and it hasn't exactly been nice dealing with Mr. Brightside over there."** pointing toward the mechanic, not that he needed the hint

**"Is that right?"** somewhat pleased that Aaron hasn't exactly been skipping around.

**"Well yes I can't blame you for ducking out, lasted longer than I would have thought. But it's because you have a good heart, love….. always reminds me of my grandson you kn-" **

**"Pearl, it wasn't like that and I really have to get started, have a deadline and all?"**

**"Oh oh, of course love"** watching as Pearl walked away a little stunned by his mood. Letting out a sigh, and making a note to apologize later for his change in tone. With one more glance at the mechanic's back he set off inside ready to take out his frustration on the crumbling walls of Dale Head.

* * *

An hour had passed and Aaron still couldn't get his head straight knowing Jackson was right next door. Thankfully Cain had called in and said he'd be out of town for the day waiting for a part because he'd definitely get an ear full based on the pace he was going, nothing was getting done.

'_Why is he here? I thought he was gonna be gone a little over a week' _as he continues washing the car all thoughts of Kyle far from his mind as he wondered if he should go and talk to Jackson.

'_We could still be mates, right?'_ sadly admitting to himself that it wouldn't be possible because he knew he'd want more and he agreed to let Jackson move on and that's exactly what he planned to do.

Stuck in his own thought he didn't realize that a car had pulled up to the garage until he heard a car door slam slightly harder then necessary. It made him jump as turned he saw Kyle locking the doors of his silver 2010 Ford Focus before walking towards him.

**"Hiya, mate"** reaching Aaron and given him a tap on the arm

**"Hey got here alright told ya, you couldn't miss it."**

'_Wow he was fit. He looked about 5' 9", dirty blonde hair, grayish-green eyes, broad shoulders and through his leather jacket and fitted white t-shirt I could tell he was rock solid.'_

Realizing what he was doing he fixed his gaze back up to Kyle's face hoping he didn't notice.

**"Yeah it was no problem"** with a smirk on his face as he reached into his jacket pocket.

**"Here, I believe this belongs to you"** pulling out Aaron's mobile and waiting for Aaron the wipe his soapy hands on a rag then handing it over.

**"Oh right cheers, hang on a minute"** he turned to head into the garage and retrieved Kyle's phone from near the coffee machine. When he came back out he found Kyle leaning against the car he was working on.

**"Here, mate"**

**"Thanks….Well, like I said sorry about yesterday – see yah around, mate."**

As he went to straighten up, Aaron without thinking stepped in his way **"Listen…"** as Kyle relaxed back against the car.

* * *

All the while Jackson was watching this all playin' out through an upstairs window not being able to resist sneaking peeks of the mechanic for the last hour. But now Aaron was talking to some guy, a pretty decent-looking guy if he was being perfectly like honestly. It started off normal but then all of a sudden they were exchanging phones.

'_GOD!...Had he spent the night with this guy and ended up grabbing the wrong phone, to busy sucking face to notice I bet.' _Jackson thought he was going to sick seeing images flash through his mind of Aaron being licked and sucked 'til his heart's content by another bloke was like a punch in the gut.

'_Aaron wouldn't have done that, we've only been over a week now, I mean there isn't a time limit but I just figured he'd take his time before he started messing about. At least long enough for me to get my head around it all.'_

'_And look at that stupid pratt leaning on the car, I'm the one that does that usually to distract the mechanic while he was working, it usually worked and we'd end up at his or if I got him desperate enough we'd sneak into Dale Head.'_

He knew he shouldn't care what the young mechanic was up too but he did. He didn't end things because he didn't have feeling for him, he just couldn't feel like he had to be ashamed of his feelings anymore.

But at this moment his reasoning was put on the back burner as Aaron stepped in front of the other guy a little too close for Jackson's liking, he just couldn't stop his feet from moving down the stairs. He had to know who this guy was, why he was there, he just wasn't sure exactly how he going to go about it and he didn't know whether he really wanted to know the truth, all he knew was that he needed to put some distance between the two guys, **_fast_**!

Xx

TBC

REVIEWS WELCOMED...TELL ME IF YOU LIKE IT OR LOATHE IT


	5. Facing the Truth

Thanks for the reviews and support... thay have been so great and encourageing if you like this chapter let me know send me review of what you think :)

If you feel as though the emotions are all over the place I've got to blame it on listening to Forgetting by David Gray and these last two days of episodes I turn into an absolute puddle of nothing after watching but I'm a masochist my nature and I'm really loving every second of my laughs and uncontrollable crying moments. We all know the acting has been superb can't help but watch they've got me by the heart.

markab |(a fanfiction god in my book ;)| and chicky babes sorry for the long wait but thanks for sticking by it and taking the time to write comments and to everyone else

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Emmerdale or its characters, they belong to ITV

Enjoy ;)

Xx

Aaron was standing a lot closer than he had intended to but he just didn't want Kyle to walk away just like that because of the way he acted. He really liked the idea of catching up and going out for a few drinks.

Once he realized Kyle wasn't going anywhere, waiting for an explanation, the mechanic took a step back to put some much needed distance between them.

As he continued **"Look I didn't mean to come off like I did yesterday and if you ever wanna go for a drink or hang out that would cool. I mean, like you said it's been ages and it would be good to meet up from time to time"** '_great now I'm rambling either I can't get a word out or I just can't shut up'_

Just as he was about to get a response **"Hiya"** he tensed and closed his eyes for a brief moment, he had to be dreaming well more like a nightmare. Jackson wasn't standing behind him with Kyle right in front of him; this wasn't happening it couldn't be happening. Praying that it wasn't but he know his silent prayers went unanswered.

He let out a low sigh and he finally turned around to face the builder who had a big smirk on his face.  
'_What's he playin at?'_

Jackson asked not bothering with small talk, **"So who's your _friennndd?"_** his gaze passing right by Aaron and falling on the other man's face, and lingering on the last word.

Before Aaron could get a word out Kyle stepped out from behind him and took a few steps towards Jackson close enough to offer a hand.

**"The _friennd_'s name would be Kyle"** showing that Jackson's tone hadn't gone unnoticed.  
'_Kyle, Kyle, Kyle….why do I have the feeling I should know that name from somewhere'_

**"And you are…?"**

**"Jackson, Jackson Walsh Contractor"** he didn't know why he added the last part he wasn't usually into status but he couldn't help it.

**"Oh really nice mate, I'm an architect myself so I can appreciate a good build"** attempting to ease the tension  
'_You have got to be jokin' me. Not only does this guy have my dream guy but he's got my dream job as well!' _

This wasn't exactly going the way Jackson had hoped.

**"Wait a sec. you're the wallpaper guy aren't, yeah didn't realize at first"**

**"What you on about?"** the question catching him off guard

**"Yeah, Aaron explained last night how all your mates playing jokes on each other by putting faces of yourselves on each other's cell phones"**

**"Didn't get it at first but I guess it could be a right laugh"** flashing a big smile that Jackson thought deserved a good smackin'

Aaron couldn't watch anymore, the more they talked, they more things could slip out, things he didn't want said. Stepping closer to the two men needing to say something.

Letting out a shaky laugh Aaron says, **"Yeah mate you know us always trying to get one over on each other"**

Finally acknowledging Aaron having almost forgotten he was there Jackson bore his eyes into him not believing what he was hearing.

There it was the truth he really didn't want to hear. Aaron wasn't messing about with any random guys, no of course not it was worse and Jackson couldn't have imagined how it could get any worse but it did, he was back to denying he was gay but the best of all is he was denying "_them". _

"_But why"_ Jackson couldn't understand why Aaron felt like he needed to lie especially to this guy it just didn't make sense. This guy was definitely gay, he wasn't campy or anything but you tend to learn to pick up on these things, well come to think about Aaron probably wouldn't always was slow on the uptake.

Again Aaron showed him why they couldn't work out because he always had to mess it up. Whenever things seemed to be going alright, it's like he sets off on a path to sabotage his own happiness. But even through all that he had the need to protect his young mechanic so he went along with.

**"Yeah course forgot all about that"**

Making an attempt at the best laugh he could muster, **"Sorry about that mate, only havin' a laugh"**

**"Yeah cheers mate, had a fun time explaining that one"** looking right at Jackson pleading with him to understand and apologizing, hoping he'd accept it but Jackson just turned his gaze.

**"Well Kyle see you around or not"**

Extending his hand out then pulling him into a guy handshake/hug with a tap on the back.

He did the same thing to Aaron not wanting it to seem like he was being weird with him but as he pulled him in, he whispered **"bye"** low enough that he was sure they were the only two that could hear.

Both knowing the double meaning in that one word.

Letting go, the hug lasted a second but it felt like an eternity.

How could he do this? How could do this, was what Kyle thought more important than Jackson. Even if they were over Jackson was always going to have a part of him that no one else did. '_God how can I still be at this point I feel like I'm back in court all over again too scared of what others might think but that was supposed to be done with now.'_

He couldn't do this, again. He was going to do this, not anymore!

Aaron glanced over at Kyle right before he snatched Jackson's arm bring him to an abrupt stop before he spun him around to come face to face with confused brown eyes.

**"What!"** That's all he was able to say because Aaron grabbed him by his silver chain and captured his mouth in his for just a moment Jackson tensed but then pure instinct made his arms wrap around the mechanic's waist and pulled him closer.

Kyle stepped back, backing into the hood of the car not able to move any further, way beyond confused.

After a moment he cleared his throat trying to remind them that they had an audience. **"So can I assuming you're gay then"**

With that Jackson's moment of weaknesses shattered and he shoved Aaron away. Was he ready to just forgive him and try again, that he wasn't so sure of. Yeah he told the truth by kissing him but he shouldn't have had too that's the point. Why did he always do this to himself knowing what Aaron is like but always expecting something else?

Aaron was left there stunned by Jackson's reaction.

Wasn't this what he wanted? He kissed him….RIGHT in front of Kyle! Out in the open for anyone who cared to see. He knew it shouldn't have gotten to this point. He should have been honest from the beginning but like usual he always took the path with less resistance and it always back fired.

Realizing that Kyle was still standing there.

**"I'm sorry about all this, its fine if you don't want to be mates, but I gotta go."** He turned and took off in same direction Jackson went.

**"But I'm…."** the young mechanic didn't bother sticking around to here the rest

The builder still cared about him and by the looks of it he still wanted him. He had to find him because before Jackson pushed away there was still something there between them but he had to find out for sure.

* * *

He found Jackson lying down in the middle of _their_ field, the field they would to come and take Clyde to get a break from all the craziness and just relax.

He stuck his hands deep inside the pockets of his overalls as he made his way toward the builder not quite sure how to make things right.

Aaron stood towering over Jackson not daring to speak until Jackson was willing to acknowledge him. Finally the older man opened his eyes straining against the sun's glare and sat up nudging his head toward the space right next to him telling Aaron to sit.

Aaron did as he was told, relaxing with his arms and chin resting on his knees.

Jackson was the first to break the silence.

**"He's gay you know"** he couldn't help but chuckle

Tilting his head to the side to look at Jackson with his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

**"Kyle, you div"** he sighed heavily

**"Don't be daft! of course he's not"**

**"Think what you want."**

**"How would know you just meet him, he's my old mate I think I'd know him better then you"** really knowing that wasn't all together true

**"Wait what you mean he's an old mate, not one I've hear of"**

**"Of course you have he's… "the KYLE", the one who I, you kno-"**

Jackson jumped up and started pacing back and forth **"Brilliant"** mumbling under his breath.

Aaron finally got up and grabbed the builder by the shoulders to stop him from well doing whatever it was that he was doing cuz it didn't make much sense to him.

**"Wassup with yah?"** this wasn't like Jackson he was always the level headed one and he wasn't quite sure how to handle this Jackson.

**"ALL OF THIS! ain't that just charming your **_"big boy crush"_** actually turns out to be a successful, good-looking GAY bloke"** releasing himself from Aaron's grasp and dropping back down on the grass feeling defeated.

**"Jackson….even if that was true, what does that matter?"**

Jackson letting out a groan was Aaron really that thick.

**"Because I get it now, why you choose him over me?"**

Aaron knelt down in front of him and placed his hand on Jackson's knees.

**"There never was a choice to be made**_ Jackson_**"**

The older man looked up with glossy eyes full and threatening to spill over.

**"Yeah there was, of course there was…..you choose to care about what he thought about you, ABOUT US!, instead me. That was a choice Aaron whether you see it that way or not. I'm I always going to be a second thought…first your image, then family and friends, and now this…"**

**"Why don't you do us both a favor and go have fun with Kyle or whomever, it's probably the best for both of us."**

Aaron couldn't help the tears that came down his face. He hadn't meant to make Jackson feel like he wasn't important. GOD he was the best thing that ever happened to him but somewhere along the lines he failed to show it. He had failed Jackson.

**"Look I'll make it up to you, I swear ppleasse. I don't want Kyle, I don't want anyone else. I JUST WANT YOU! Please don't give up on me…I need yah"**

**"But see…I don't need you though,"** just higher than a whisper

What was he saying of course he needed him, no one made him feel like Aaron did, well no one made him as crazy either but he needed that balance, he need that craziness.

**"But we both know don't we, WE both know what happen back there…YOU wanted ME, just as much as I want YOU!"**

All Jackson could do was shake his head knowing if he spoke his voice and his will would crack.

**"FINE!"** getting to his feet, wiping his tear-stained cheeks with his sleeve and glaring down at Jackson's bowed head,** "THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY YOU WANT, IS IT? For me to see other blokes?"**

**"Well, consider it done…can't say I never listened to yah, eh? Oh yeah and the whole Kyle gay or not thing, I guess I'll just have to find out for myself now won't I." **knowing that was just the hurt talking, trying to make Jackson hurt more

Walking away leaving Jackson lying on the grass just as he'd left him.

Is this really end?

XX

TBC

REVIEWS WELCOMED...TELL ME IF YOU LIKE IT OR LOATHE IT


	6. It's almost easy

Have to apologize for this sick excuse of chapter  
Went away with my laptop for a few days but of course no charger = dead laptop and boredom  
so I tried to write a quick one for you

Xx

**|"**GO!

I feel insane every single time

I'm asked to compromise

Cause I'm afraid and stuck in my ways

And that's the way it stays

So how long did I expect love to outweigh ignorance

By that look on your face I may have forced the scale to tip.

Come back to me it's almost easy

(Said it all)

Come back again it's almost easy" |

After sitting in his car for almost a half an hour in front of the garage he couldn't seem to figure out what was keeping him there. He'd got what he came for, both cell phones now with their rightful owners. So what was he waiting for?

Aaron had run after that Jackson guy he was sure of it.

Boy those two together were a piece of work he could already tell having a feeling this wasn't just a one off.

Jackson must have known I was interested, I mean you'd have to be blind or Aaron not to see why Jackson had come down. The builder came over to silently stake claim and he'd sensed that from the start.

He hadn't fallen for Aaron's story and that's why he brought up the wallpaper hoping for a reaction out of Jackson but he was shocked when Jackson seemed to send a painful understanding towards the mechanic as he went along with the façade. Why would he do something like that for Aaron? He had to admit that he liked Jackson's spirit and his fight, Kyle didn't want to like him but he could tell the builder was a good guy even through their somewhat tense conversation.

And then there was Aaron who was like a blazing bonfire but only saw himself as an unimpressive matchstick not truly seeing what others saw in him.

He couldn't help but remember when they were just a bunch of young lads playing around on the soccer field like a bunch of professionals, well so they thought. He would always catch a glance of the young Aaron out the corner of his eye and he always put his all in to impress him but at the time he hadn't link it to what it really meant.

As years pasted he had learned that he quite fancied Aaron but they were both two kids and that just wasn't how things were done and he was sure that wasn't how things were done in Aaron's book either. So he did what every "normal" boy does chase girls, stir up trouble, and he found that everything went by smooth. Then Aaron had finally left a few years back with not so much as a bye. It had bothered him, he'd thought they were good friends; they'd grown up with each other. He'd been around when his parents started having problems and when the new wife and baby came around. The least Aaron could have done was spare him a seconds thought.

But after that to be honest he hadn't thought about his old mate until they ran into to each other last night and not he couldn't seem to think about anything else but.

He just wanted to clear the air; if he couldn't have him to himself at least he'd do with having him as a mate.

* * *

Aaron was fuming with hurt and anger, was what he did really bad enough for Jackson to give up on them altogether. When Jackson first ended things deep down he'd always assumed they'd make up in the end like they always did. He just figured it would take a little longer and some distance, you know what's that stupid saying, 'distance makes the heart grow wider' something along those lines, almost certain that he had even messes that one up.

But this time seemed different, he had finally pushed Jackson to he's limit, but wasn't this what he always didn't. He always expected that the people around him would bail sooner or later so he just figured he'd push it right along. But he truly hadn't wanted to do that with Jackson but it was hard wired.

He wanted to crawl back up the steps and lock himself in his room and never come out but he knew he had to make his way back to the garage because he'd left it open when he ran off after Jackson and although so much had happened already it was still only 12:30ish. Boy was he right about it being a long day.

Although his head was mashed he starting toward the garage hoping it would help him sort his mind out.

As he came down the road the street was surprising busy with people from the village going about their business but he didn't want to chance any of them getting any ideas about chatting his ear off. So, he busied himself with finding a different background on for cell phone deciding on plain black one not caring to put much effort into it.

He had been trying so hard to appear like he was busy that he almost didn't notice the same 2010 Ford Focus parked at the garage. The sight of it stopped him in his tracks.

_'What the…?' 'Why is he still here…I'm positive that I gave him his phone back and sent him on his way but not before I made an idiot out of myself'_

Was this day ever going to end?

And he knew Jackson had to be right about Kyle, he had to be, if Jackson picked up on it, then it had to be obvious he just didn't want to see it. Because he was always that kid, who had to have his defensive up all the time and Kyle brought those feelings back.

Then he thought about the last thing he had said to Jackson. And decided he was going to be good on his word.

So he promised himself as he made his way to the car that he was going to do away with this self-conscious Aaron. Aaron was going to be confident, assertive and take what he wanted, when he wanted it from now on. Let's just see how Jackson really feels about that…

Kyle seemed to be lost in his thoughts, as the mechanic tapped on the driver's window to get the architect's attention.

Aaron didn't look upset or shocked to see me if I didn't know anyone better it almost seemed like he expected it. What had got into him was he missing something? When Aaron ran off he looked a right mess. Now he couldn't seem to get the sly smirk off his face.

Deciding not to question it anymore he pushed the button to lower the window of his car letting the heat from outside caress his face.

**"Took you long enough. Planned on leaving me out here for much longer, did yah"** Aaron said as he saw Kyle's questioning stare.** "Fancy buying me drink or what?"**

As far as he was concerned the garage was closed for the day, knowing he'd have his uncle Cain to deal with but at the moment that didn't seem to faze him.

**"Uh-Uh Yeah if you want me too"**

**"Yeah I wouldn't have ask otherwise"**

**"Hop in then, where you want to go?"**

**"Town…Give me a sec, gotta lock up and you better not have pocketed anything while I was gone or I'll hunt you down like a dog"**

**"Nah mate honest you can pat me down if you like"** Aaron knew he was flirty back and it was a bit strange but he had to admit that he didn't really mind all that much this was the whole point.

**"AAARROOONN!"** Chas called after him as he was twisting the lock, already making her way towards him.

Great she better make this quick, but who was he kidding it was mum he was talking about; never one to keep it short and sweet.

**"I'm busy!"**

**"Yeah I can see that, too busy to visit your own mum once in a while. I bet Jackson would visit his mum if she was only down the road"**

**"Urgh, mum what do you want from me! Like I said I'm busy"** he hated her bringing up how perfect Jackson was as if he didn't know that already

**"Oh I see who is your friend?"**

**"No one just leave it"** he definitely wasn't planning on Kyle seeing his mum after all this time because they'd never get out of here but of course Kyle seemed to have his own plan.

**"Hello Miss Dingle, it's me Kyle you might not remember me but-"**

Chas being Chas pulled Kyle in for a full on hug giving him a squeeze that could have pop someone's eyes out.

**"Look at you! Of course I remem-, How have you been, where you staying, how'd you end over here?"**

**"I ah…I'm great"** attempting to talk and breathe at the stay time since Chas didn't appear to be letting go any time soon.

**"MUM!"** and with that Chas finally pulled herself together knowing that she was embarrassing her son and if she keep on she'd never get anything out of him.

**"Sorry hun but you have to stop by for your tea sometime"**

Receiving grunt from Aaron

**"What? I can manage"**

**"Right well I'll let you two get on….?"**

Aaron grabbed Kyle's arm to usher him back toward the car and made his way to the other side.

**"Aaronnn…?"**

**"What!"**

**"Never mind"** she wasn't going to push her luck

**"You don't have to give her a hard time you know"**

**"Yeah yeah just drive, will ya" **

Xx

tbc (with a better chapter promise)

Reviews are welcome even if you loathe it


	7. The Plan

Thankfully Kyle had decided to have the music on full blast as they made their way into town because he didn't really have much to say.

Kyle finally decided on a little sport pub called Nick's, which made him think of the first time Aaron met Jackson's chatty mum because she came into this pub instead of the diner where him and Jackson were waiting for her. At the time he had thought Jackson talked more than anyone in the world, but boy had she proven him wrong.

It was silence for a moment as Kyle turned the radio off and unlocked the doors.

**"Well we going in or what?"**

**"Don't you have somewhere to be, I mean you weren't planning on hanging around all the day?"**

**"Look would you just get out of the car, I'm self-employed meaning I run the show, now come on"** as they both stepped out of the car and into the pub

He noticed the pub as pack which was probably normal since it was around the time most people went for lunch. As Kyle went to get a few pints in, Aaron sat at a booth in the corner of the pub wondering what the hell was he thinking, of course that was the problem wasn't it, he wasn't think at all…big problem when Aaron is concerned.

**"Here you go"** Aaron grabbed the beer he was offered and couldn't seem to get it down his throat quick enough as Kyle placed their two extra beers on the table and took a sip of his

**"Easy, it ain't going anywhere"** realizing his haste hadn't gone unnoticed; Kyle didn't miss much of anything did he.

Now Kyle was only about two feet away from him as he sat on the opposite side of the table.

**"How ya been?"** trying to keep the conversation as casual as possible

Kyle completely ignored his question, **"So are we gonna pretend like that never happened back there?"**

**"Yeah pretty much, if you know what's good for ya."**

**"Mate I can't figure out I mean do I really have to say it…?"**

**"Say what?"**

**"That I'M GAY, your gay, end of"**

**"Why didn't you say before?"**

**"Not for the same reason you didn't. I mean what's the big fucking deal, and I would have told you sooner if you'd have given me the chance."**

Seeming exhausted already by the whirlwind known as Aaron Livesy he leaned back on the booth just staring at him.

**"Alright it was stupid. I'm just new to all this. But I thought I was done given a shit about other people but then I ran into you last night and I couldn't own up. I mean once I came out everyone that knew me before found out and I had to deal but until now anyone else I've met didn't know the _'straight'_ Aaron so I didn't really have to explain myself."**

**"Why would you have to explain anything?"**

**"Because you were one of my old mates and I didn't know how you would react and I didn't want to know."**

**"You're as hard headed as before you know that.  
****Always making shit worse for yourself."**

**"Is that right!"** not intending it to make it sound as harsh as it did but again Kyle seemed unfazed by it

**"Well I can't talk much I mean I'm not exactly innocent not by a long shot"** finally taking another swig of his pint

**"But anyways what's the deal with Jackson"** He knew he was being blunt and he was probably walking on shaky ground by asking about the builder but curiosity got the better of him

**"What's to know!"**

**"Is it always gonna be this hard to get shit out of you mate?"**

Letting out a sigh,** "He's my ex"** feeling a bit buzzed as he worked on his second pint

**"Obviously"**

**"Are gonna let me explain or what"**

**"Alright - alright"** with his hands up in surrender, which made Aaron want to laugh but he decided against it.

**"He helped me when I was coming out, he was great about everything and it was going alright, you know but we never run out of things to argue about, me and him."**

**"Didn't notice"** Aaron sent him a sharp glare telling him to shut up

**"Sorry I couldn't help it"**

**"But it's done now it's turned out that I'm a little bit too much to handle"** as he looked down to stare at his drink

But before Kyle could think, he slipped up **"I wouldn't mind"**

He closed his eyes hoping that the mechanic hadn't heard him but Aaron didn't say anything and the silence was unbearable so he dared to look. Maybe the beer wasn't helping, he had always been a light weight.

When he looked up he saw pure shock not a glimpse of much else.

Damn it he had messed up big time. SHIT you just ran into him yesterday coming on a bit strong don't you think.

Although the mechanic was looking straight at him he wasn't really focusing on him. Okay, okay this probably wasn't the best reaction. What the hell did he think just throwing that out there? What the hell was he supposed to say?

But as he finally made eye contact all he saw Jackson's face and he wanted to make him hurt, hurt him badly.

So he did something he couldn't do for Jackson 'til today, he reached over the table and pulled Kyle closer and kissed him dead on the lips so hard he was sure they'd both have a swollen lips. He smelt good but he tasted better.

Kyle had instantly responded to the mechanic's touch he'd imagined how it would feel to kiss him so many times when they were kids and now it was happening but it wasn't what he'd hoped for.

He felt something behind the kiss it wasn't want, it wasn't need; it tasted of anger and vengeance. But although it wasn't whathe'd thought it would be it still felt good, like a release, so he tried to the push the thought to the back of his mind.

Finally the mechanic released him because they were both in desperate need of air before their lungs collapsed. Still not caring about the crowd of people around them.

Aaron was trying to steady his breathe while his mind was coming up with a plan to get what he wanted.

**"Let's get out of here"** he breathed

**"Mine?"** Aaron could hear the want in the architect's voice and he might have felt bad for what he was planning but it would be worth it.

**"No Mine!"**

Grabbing Kyle roughly but the hand and practically dragging him out the pub, needing to get his plan up and running.

See he was going to get Jackson back but he was gonna make Jackson want to fight for it, no beg!


	8. Backfire

Sorry for the wait on an update I've been babysitting my nine month year ago cousin and it's alot more time consuming then i thought and I'll be babysitting for a few weeks so i can't promise a fast update but i'll try my best. Hopefully you like i've been writing it for only 15 minutes a day so sorry if it's choppy but i made it a long chpater to try and make up for the gap.

this is just the beginning of the story long way to go til the story is finish so sorry if you feel like it's dragging sorry

All of your nice words and support have been amazing thanks!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Emmerdale or its characters, they belong to ITV

Enjoy ;) hopefully

xx

He was shivering clearly having nothing to do with the sun beating down on his back and shoulders. He was shivering because the argument with Aaron had left him a mess, finally recovering from his last episode of uncontrollable sobs.

"_But see I don't need you though"_ what had he done, what had he said?

He let his anger and jealousy get the better of him. Making him say things he shouldn't have. Aaron was right there, right there telling him everything he wanted to hear, doing everything he wanted him to do.

After all he was hoping the mechanic would follow him, but he wouldn't admit to that but he was, he was hoping the mechanic would care enough for him. So why couldn't he just accept it, they could have been making up right NOW for all the miserable weeks they'd spent apart. Aaron was trying to show him how much he missed him, how much he needed and wanted him. It would have been more then easy to let things fall back into the old routine, forget about his stupid birthday, forget about…_Kyle_.

And he would have but KYLE, they had history, and he couldn't stand that even now Aaron hadn't been thinking about him. Ok! Fine they weren't together but if he cared about him like he said he did then how could he be ashamed of them?

Jackson had never been ashamed of the mechanic even on his worst day. A few weeks back when he went out to the club for his birthday he still couldn't allow his two best mates to bad mouth him or put him down because he might have been a head case but he was his head case.

How MANY times had his mother said he could do SO much better…but he didn't wanna do better because for him, Aaron was as good as it could ever get.

But he felt broken like all the time in world, all the patience, no matter how much he cared for the young mechanic that he wasn't enough. It was a constant battle inside of him wondering if he expected too much, he knew he was Aaron's first boyfriend. How could expect Aaron to settle with him? How many boyfriends did he not have over the years, more than he was likely to admit.

But when he met Aaron, he was ready for long-term, been there done that, not looking for just a one off. Maybe Aaron just said all those things because he felt he owed it to him. After all, the younger man was known for doing things and regretting them later, what if this was one of those times.

He wanted to believe he was that person, the only person that could change him, that could make him something whole and solid.

He knew Aaron needed so much more time to grow up, to be ok with himself why couldn't he just let him be enough for now. Sure he'd been patient, he knew that but when had he decided that the time wasn't worth it?

That he couldn't seem to find the answer for.

How could he make the best thing in his life feel like he was nothing, like he could simply pick up and go without him, wasn't that the same as denying them, wasn't that belittling the impact… the important of what they had?

He stood up from where he was sitting tired of thinking, done second guessing Aaron's words. He knew all the risks involved in pursing Aaron, yeah he would probably end up hurt in the end but he wasn't ready for it to be over, he'd stick it out 'til Aaron didn't want him anymore. He knew the moment would come sooner or later, but he was hoping for later, way later.

When Aaron finally left him he had a look in his eyes that worried the builder. Aaron never had a problem getting himself into a right mess and he could tell he wasn't thinking straight. He was angry, hurt, and frustrated a mix of emotions that would make anybody a little crazy and make a guy like Aaron go through the roof.

He needed to get him back, tell him that he made a mistake and that he was sorry. Sorry for giving up on him, for lying and say he didn't need him…all of it was rubbish.

* * *

They were cruising back to Emmerdale both not able to imagine that their day was going to turn out like this, so much had already happened and if the mechanic stopped to think he knew his head would start to spin.

He was texting Paddy to see where the vet was because in his rush to get back he hadn't been thinking about running into Paddy as he made it up to his bedroom.

_**Hey Pads where are ya?**_

The mechanic never had to wait long to get messages back, he figured it had to do the lack of messages he sent which always put the older man on edge when he did decide to grace he with one.

_**On my way out I'm on call be back in a few hours why?**_

_**Nothing I'll just see ya when you get back.**_

With that he flipped his cell closed and stuffed it deep into his pocket.

Kyle wasn't paying him much mind; either he was deep in thought or was concentrating why too much on finding the fastest way back to the village. Either way he was grateful for the space because now he wasn't feeling good about this and a part of him was hoping Paddy would be there to stop him from making a big mistake but he wasn't. There was no one to stop him from destroying himself, Jackson had made it clear that it wasn't his problem anymore and Paddy had no idea what was going on with the mechanic and that was all his fault.

As he sat there picking apart his plan the whole thing seemed flawed not that it surprised him anyway. After all he had come up with it, Aaron and a flawless thought didn't fit in a sentence together without it being drenched in contradictions. Majority of the time he went through with his plans determined to see them through 'til the very end even though he knew how destructive it could turn out to be for him, would this time any different?

Xx

He looked in all of Aaron's normal spots around the village…the garage, and the Woolpack, he ever called Adam to see if he might have seen him, no such luck. Now he was heading up the hill toward Smithy Cottage praying he'd find him there but if he didn't he was determined to wait around until he did, he'd have to turn up at some point.

He finally reached the doorstep lifted his hand to knock when the door opened making him almost knock on Paddy's forehead.

**"Jackson…?"** he wasn't exactly the first person the older man expected around, "H-How have you been g-glad to see ya!" the vet did have a heart of gold and always treated Jackson well and he missed that a lot.

**"Hey Paddy, I'm fine I was just looking for…Aaron wondering if he might be in, he wasn't at the garage so…"** causing Paddy to give him a puzzled look, **"I REALLY need to talk to him!"**

**"Jackson…Is everything alright I mean apart for you know the whole break up thing?"**

**"Yeah, just need to sort some stuff out between us that's all, nothing to worry about."**

**"Easier said than done with Aaron involved"**

**"So is he in, then?"**

**"No but he just finished texting me and I'm sure he'll be around in a bit."**

**"Texting? You?"** asking cuz he was sure he had heard wrong definitely not a common occurrence

**"Yeah I know just as shocked believe me.  
****Well, I'm on call heading out but if you want you could come back. I'm sure he won't be gone long. But I can't be sure, it's not like he tells me where he's going now a days"**

**"Paddy…do you mind if I wait here it just-"**

Already interrupting clearly seeing the builder was troubled.** "OF COURSE I don't mind…you are always welcome here Jackson you know that. Are you sure everything's alright"**

**"Yeah Paddy, I promise everything's fine."** more like he hoped, he hoped they could fix this…that he could fix this

**"Okay…I should be heading off then I'll be seeing ya"**

**"Thanks Paddy…for everything"** receiving a warm and understanding smile, the older man never liked receiving praise for things because he felt it was all part of being a decent human being.

The vet finally got into his car and took off leaving the builder in the doorway of Smithy Cottage hoping that he was doing the right thing by leaving Jackson there not knowing what mood the young mechanic might be in when he finally made he's way home but he'd have to let them get on with it.

Jackson thought about the mechanic hoping he wasn't getting into any kind of trouble. He was optimistic based on the fact that Aaron had even bothered to text Paddy that had to be a good sign; he probably just needed a breather.

He was gonna wait in the living room but decided to head up to Aaron's room just in case Pearl popped in he wasn't really in any better of a state then he was the last time he spoke to her and he really didn't want to take his worries out on her.

Aaron never liked all the attention Pearl gave Jackson, and the builder always thought it was funny how Aaron sorta acted like he had a competition with Pearl.

Stepping into Aaron's room was almost painful; he hadn't bothered turning on the light cuz the small amount of sunlight shinnying through the edges of the curtains seemed to do a decent enough job outlining the layout of the room. The room looked exactly how it did when he was there last. Random porters taped on the walls of women, movies and bands he didn't even care to know about and filled with random pieces of furniture making up a bed set.

He always found it odd trying to imagine a day where Aaron just decided to even take the time to put up posters he just didn't seem the type; it almost seemed like too much of a bother for the mechanic. But then again he wasn't exactly the most popular guy only having Adam and Ryan for mates so it was probably as a result of boredom.

Jackson made his way over to the window sill leaned against it as his mind was lost in thought.

* * *

They were turning the corner down the road from the house taking a little longer to get there then he'd expected because people were making their ways back from having their breaks so there was a bit of a hold up.

He couldn't believe he was doing this; this wasn't like him at all. He was usually the kind of guy that over analyzed everything until he was blue in the face that's what made him such a good architect because he knew how to exhaust every option and circumstance.

Right now he was acting like some 16 years old who couldn't seem to control his hormones or summit. Yeah sure Aaron was well fit and seemed to be more than up for it but he wasn't too sure that he was as he finally pulled into the cottage the mechanic pointed to letting him that's where he lived.

Kyle couldn't believe he was planning on sleeping with an old mate that up until a few moments ago he hadn't even known where he lived, there had to something wrong with that. He could feel his brain starting to speed up with thoughts a mile a minute.

There they were again sitting in the company of silence not knowing what to say or what to do next.

Not wanting to lose his bottle he grabbed hold of Kyle's arm hoping he hadn't already changed his mind…he needed him. He needed him to be just as willing or he'd never be able to go through with it.

**"Hey come on"** sensing the other guy's hesitation

Relieved when he saw him unbuckle himself and grab his keys out of the ignition.

Reaching the door he wasn't all that surprised that Paddy had left the door unlocked, he was always telling the older man that he had to stop being so trusting; anybody could come in and rob him blind but the vet was stuck in his ways.

Finally when they were both inside behind closed doors he pressed Kyle up against the wall that separated the kitchen from the stairs trying to get things going. The mechanic pressed lips against lips already comparing the differences; Kyle was clean shaved so the kiss lacked the friction of stubble that drove him mad with a burning lust for more.

This time Kyle wasn't as responsive to his touch so he bit down on the man's bottom lip getting the desired effect feeling him groan into his mouth instead of hearing it.

He slipped his hands between where white shirt met leather jacket making it fall off the architect's shoulders.

It was so quiet that all you could hear was their breathing.

Once his jacket was completely removed, again there was another difference he didn't care for, Kyle had a wider waist line, Aaron had always loved how Jackson had wide shoulders and a more toned _slender_ waist it use to drive him insane.

But what was driving him even more insane now was the fact that even now he couldn't take his mind off the builder, that even now as he had his mouth on another man's lips he couldn't stop his mind and body for thinking about him, wanting him.

He almost hated Jackson for making him do this because if he had just forgiven him earlier then it would be his beard tickling the mechanic's face and his slender waist that Aaron would have grasped with his calloused hands pulling him up against his waist to welcome the friction.

But no, that wasn't what was happening now as he began leading the older man backwards up the stairs. No now he was planning on probably making the biggest mistake of his life and ruining any chances he'd have with Jackson.

What if Jackson had found out what he was doing right now…he simply die of shame. Aaron didn't want Jackson to ever find out that wasn't the point he just needed to hook Kyle in and this seemed like the fastest, most effective way possible. But if his methods were ever revealed to the builder he knew he'd lose him forever.

Making it to the top of the stairs the kisses and movements came with no urgency as they were both had their minds running amuck.

Somehow he managed to jar open his door but as the back of his knees touched and he fell back on to _their_ bed because he still felt like it belonged to him and Jackson with so many amazing memories.

He couldn't do it, he could still go ahead with his plans it was just take longer that's all but that was better than having to wait forever if Jackson found he couldn't chance it. As he felt the other men's hand inching under his shirt caressing his skin he halted more exploration by grabbing hold of his wrists.

**"WAI-!"**

Before he was able to finish his protest Kyle's weight was throw back against the wall, the impact caused him to yelp as dropped to the floor his head banged against the dress before there wasn't any more movement coming for his direction.

For the second time today was left stunned not understand what just happened.

**"I'm – I'm sorry… I just couldn't-"**

That's when he finally realized they weren't alone turning to see a figure standing between him and where Kyle had landed on the floor.

Jumping to his feet he flicked on the light to see Jackson staring back at him as he adjusted his eyes to the change in brightness;

**"Jackson!What the hell are you doing here!" **receiving no answer, he then saw the builder turn toward Kyle caused Aaron to snap even further out of his trance.

**"DON'T TOUCH HIM!"** as he passed by the builder to knell on the side of his old mate not sure what to do.

**"Aaron…please let me help I didn't mean to do that, I just–"** Aaron looked straight into his eyes with such anger that it made him flinch back a half step.

Turn back toward the architect **"Kyle…?"** giving him a nudge.

As he heard Jackson speaking on the phone about needing ambulance and giving the information. What hadn't he thought to call, damn it he was really no good in emergency situations.

**"Here...the women said to put this under his head"** snatching the throw pillow out of his hand, he better not be expecting any gratitude or acknowledge for it 'cuz he sure as hell wasn't getting any.

Scared to lift the man's head, he didn't know the first thing about taking care of anyone and he was worried he'd hurt him more. Slowly snaking his hand under Kyle's to lift him up slightly while he used his other hand to slip the pillow securely under him. As he did that he noticed a large bump already forming on the side of his head and the older man didn't seem like he was gaining consciousness anytime soon.

**"Aaron…"**

**"You're still here!"** what was he still doing here, why was he here to begin with? So many questions but he wasn't up for asking, and wasn't all that interested in knowing.

Bending down onto the floor a few feet away for the two guys, **"Yeah and I'm not leaving you alone here, this was my fault!"**

If Jackson was anybody else the mechanic would have been wailing on him, but he knew he'd never lay a violent hand on him. But how could he have done this? He wasn't the violent type, never quick to lose his temper always giving me an earful about it.

**"I GUESS we've got something in common because I don't need you here, just go, yeah"** trying too will him to leave.

Jackson held his gaze for a long moment and he knew it was no use; the builder wasn't going to budging. _Fine_! but he wasn't planning on talking to him until everything with Kyle was dealt with.

* * *

The paramedics finally showed up ten minutes later, ten minutes of pure silence; Jackson not daring to say anymore he was just waiting for the mechanic to go off but to his surprise he was calm not taking his gazed off of the unconscious man. He wasn't sure how he'd got from leaning on the window to grabbing the back of Kyle's shirt and throwing him against the wall as hard as could.

He just couldn't handle seeing Kyle touching and kissing Aaron the way he was dying to. For a moment a wall of rage came out of him, kind of rage he never experience before and the next thing he knew he was launching himself across the room without a second thought.

He hated violence, he'd dealt with that with his own father not that he was planning on telling Aaron anything he had enough problem with his sexuality as it is without needing to fill him in on his problems.

But look at him now, now he was the out of control, the hot head.

When the paramedics showed up and started asking about what happened the mechanic just said he fell and hit his head. Even after what he had just done somehow he knew the mechanic wouldn't put the blame on him, not that he didn't deserve it.

Aaron got a little ruffed up when the paramedics wouldn't let him ride with them to the hospital. He was able convince him to let him give him a ride to hospital; it wasn't like it had many options.

Now they were their way to the hospital following right behind the ambulance, Aaron making it clear that he better not stop at any red lights; so Jackson rode right behind to prevent them from getting into any accidents as the ambulance cut through traffic and passed lights.

Jackson knew this nightmare was far from over.

xx

TBC

reviews are always welcome and appreciated

like it, love it, hate it, loathe it!


	9. Verbal or Physical

WOW i can't believe it has taking me this long to update this story...

but after a few requests and the sudden appearance of Ed I want to more than ever to help along with the other amazing fanfiction writers in the Emmerdale communtity to keep Jackson alive in our story because for alot of us it will always be AarSon.

But I'm not sure if it will be worth it for the readers if i continue this story or if i should consider this update just beating a dying horse (sorry for the image)

So through your comments let me know what I should choose to do.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Emmerdale or it's characters, they belong to ITV;

* * *

It has been about half an hour since Kyle was wheeled past those godforsaken double doors that always seemed to only build on a person's anxiety.

"**WHAT'S takin them SO LONG?" **He couldn't stop pacing, surprised there wasn't a hole burnt right through the floor, but it was still too early to tell

"**Aaron they are just doing their job, I sur –"** at the sound of Jackson's voice Aaron finally stopped pacing and glared at him, but only long enough to silence any reassuring words the builder might feel the need to express.

It had seemed to do the trick because Jackson retreated and sat down on one of the waiting room chairs. When he was satisfied that he wouldn't be hearing a word out of Jackson he went back to burning a hole in the floor.

Finally when he thought he couldn't possible wait any longer one of the nurses that had been there to wheel Kyle in came through the double doors. The nurse wasn't given the chance to approach the mechanic because he was already in his face demanding answers.

"**What's wrong with him? Is he doing okay? Can I see him..? I have to see him. I'm going to see him now. Right!"**

"**Are you his family?" **the nurse asked calmly

**"No."**

"**Would you know how to get in touch with them..?"**

"**NO! wats it matter! I WANT TO SEE HIM" **he was going to lose his temper

"**WHERE IS HE…?" **the nurse didn't answer

"**OI are ya thick or summit, answer me!"** Aaron clearly had frightened the nurse with his demands.

That when he could hear Jackson approaching from behind and place his hands on his shoulders and he didn't have the desire to push away, he was secretly grateful for the support. His anger was beginning to bubble over and he needed to stay calm.

"**When do you think he'll be able to see him?"** Aaron looked at the builder and couldn't help but stare at the picture perfect example of calm, cool and collected. This was Jackson he wasn't use to the overly emotional and quick tempered version, this was the Jackson that could take charge of any situation and he was grateful for his presence.

The nurse looked at Aaron and took pity on him, he hated that stupid family members only policy and the lad looked absolutely distraught, so he caved.

"**After performing a few tests we discovered a large amount of swelling in his skull so he has been taken theater to relieve some of the pressure and to minimize the damage."**

And with that being said Jackson's hands retreated from Aaron's shoulders and he longer felt his presence.

"**WHAT!"** he couldn't believe this was happening, what else could possible go wrong?

"**Sir"**

"**It's Aaron."** even in this situation he couldn't be bothered with being call 'Sir'

"**Okay, Aaron…" **with a slight curl of his lips,** "I know you're worried but we are doing everything we possibly can to help your friend get through this. I promise to keep you informed and I'll personally come back out and let you know when you are allowed to see him."**

"**When might that be?"** the mechanic's tone had softened and he could tell by the nurse's face that he was grateful for the change in approach

"**All I can say is it's going to be a long night for you both so if you want to go home and get some rest I could always-"**

"**No I'm staying"**

"**Okay well I have to get back in there…is there anything else..?" **Aaron just shook his head 'no'

The nurse began to turn but the mechanic stopped him.

"**Thanks Nurse uhh"** stuttering with not being able to pronounce his last name

That made the nurse chuckle realizing what the younger man was trying to do.

"**Bouwhuis, but just call me Joe"**

"**Thanks Joe" **with a smile he finally went back through the double doors

He was alone now and allowed his knees to give way to his weight and slid to the ground.

* * *

He was driving around in circles not too far from the hospital; he knew he'd have to face Aaron and all the problems he created. When he had heard the extent of the damage he had done to the architect he couldn't bear to face it.

What if the guy had brain damage..? What if he never woke up…? How could Aaron ever cover for him if that happened….could he still allow Aaron to lie for him?

Jackson knew Kyle didn't deserve any of this he was the victim here, and even if he wasn't in this mess, he couldn't blame the guy for taking the opportunity to have the mechanic if he was offered the chance he knew how amazing Aaron was, let alone fit but that was only the surface of who Aaron was. Aaron might not have agreed but Jackson was actually the one lucky to have him in his life.

The builder felt even guiltier for leaving Aaron to deal with the nurse, he knew the mechanic needed him. He knew Aaron so well; he knew not to listen to his objections against him coming with him to the hospital. Even if this was all his fault he had always been able to get Aaron's emotions under control, now if only he could do the same for himself.

*HONK! HONK!*

Cars behind him rescued him from his thought as he looked up to see the light had turned green. He pressed on the gas and knew he needed to head back…he shouldn't have left in the first place and needed to knew what was going on.

When he pulled into the emergency room parking lot he spotted the mechanic pulling drag out of a cig right next a smoke free zone sign. Aaron had no shame sometimes and by the looks of it none of the cops were willing to get involved with the grouchy teen. That made him laugh a little bit.

Aaron hadn't seen him pull up so he decided to stay in his car and just look on at the younger guy and gather his thought before he approached him and he simply liked looking at him even with his scolding face. He knew Aaron but no one knew just how the mechanic might react so he needed to be prepared for anything.

* * *

The cig wasn't providing the desired effect of calming his nerves but he dared anyone to tell him anything about that damn smoke free shit. They still hadn't come out to let him know anything further about Kyle that made him worry even more. If the surgery had gone fine then it wouldn't be taking this long.

He had told the receptionist the he would be out having a smoke and she had been nice enough to tell him she would make sure he would be told if anything changed. So why hadn't someone come for him..?

Just then he looked up and saw Jackson in his car just staring at him. He could hide his relief at seeing him because he was worried even though he shouldn't have been. After all the older man was the reason for all of this, right?

He wasn't sure what to do with himself, he was sure he was ready to have any type of conversation with the builder but he could tell that Jackson was waiting fro himt o make the first move.

So he let out a long sigh and stood up. He took the last drag of his ciggy and flicked it a few feet away and glared at the cop before getting up and heading toward the blue van.

On see him approach Jackson stepped out of the van stuck his hands in his pocket and looked out at the pavement preparing himself for the verbal assault or maybe even a physical one if that's what it took for Aaron to forgive him.

* * *

Xx

TBC

REVIEWS WELCOMED...TELL ME IF YOU LIKE IT OR LOATHE IT

P.s. Not sure why I decided Joe's last name to be Bouwhuis like Edwin but think I just miss all these character that are dying off so don't be surprise if random names are thrown in the mix but Joe is still the Joe we have come to know as the beloved carer just as a nurse instead.


	10. The Blame Game

Here's another chapter just to say 'thank you' those who are supporting my story, i really appreciate it  
I hope you like it  
NOTE: I do not own Emmerdale or it's characters, they all belong to ITV

dreamgirlmiller "A promise is a promise" I hope I haven't disappointed.

* * *

**"So you're back."**

**"I couldn't just leave ya here. Are you okay..?"** he felt like kicking himself for asking, '_the Oscar for the stupidest question of the night goes to_…'

**"Am I okay… what kind of FUCKING stupid ass question is that…? OF COURSE I'm not okay my BOYFRIEND, no EX BOYFRIEND just put a mate of mine in the hospital, how do you think I'm doing JACKSON!"**

That really got a reaction out of Jackson.

**"MATES? That's not exactly what it looked like to me."**

**"WHY are we here Jackson..!"**

**"Because of YOU"** _'that wasn't fair'_

**"ME!"** now aaron was truly in shock

"**Yes YOU, what ya think you were playing at, practically JUMPING into bed with him"**

This wasn't how he had wanted it to end up but he couldn't stop himself he was so hurt after seeing Aaron about go to bed with Kyle so fast after they had ended. He couldn't get it out of his head and throwing Kyle off of Aaron hadn't help. He couldn't stop imagining what would have happened if he hadn't been there or if he had decided to continue his search a little longer before arriving at Aaron's house what would he have seen.

Despite himself the mechanic glanced around to see that they had call attention towards themselves.

**"SHUT UP!"** he practically growled at the builder

**"OH did I say that too LOUD FOR YA!"**

He couldn't be deal with this all out here…he felt weak because he knew Jackson was pushing him, Jackson know which button to push to make him crumble but this was the first time he had gone for a cheap shot.

All the mechanic could do was turn around and walk back toward the hospital ignoring the people looking his way.

How dare Jackson make this about him and how he's hurting when Kyle is laying in the hospital because of injury he had inflicted?

He had to get away from Jackson before more was said that they couldn't take back.

Xx

**"Aaron!"**

He was determined to get everything out he was fuming maybe this wasn't the best way to handle their problems but he wasn't exactly thinking clearly.

So he chased after the wounded mechanic because he knew he had delivered a low blow.

He saw the mechanic breeze passed the receptionist and push right into the men's bathroom.

When he finally reached the bathroom Aaron had already locked himself in the first stall.

**"Come on Aaron"**

**"Jackson just leave you've done enough damage as it is."**

**"GOD, Aaron! You always run away. You never face up."**

Next thing he knew Aaron was pulling the door open which made Jackson back up a bit. Aaron came right up to his face.

**"Is this facing up enough for ya?"**

Jackson was ready for him.

**"How DARE you not work harder to get me back" How DARE YOU FALL INTO BED with a bloke that WASN'T ME!"** he couldn't help getting a bit misted this fighting was killing him but he was turning his hurt into anger he felt out of control at just the thought of everything that had happened.

**"I can't believe you are doing this to right now! How dare you blame this on me?"**

Now he was being backed into the wall as Aaron kept shouting off.

He's been on the receiving end of Aaron's anger before and was beginning to feel like this might get really ugly for him.

**"You are in the wrong; you're the reason we're here!"**

Aaron was shouting and raising his hands in the air at Jackson and it made the builder flinch away from the mechanic.

This made Aaron stop in his tracks. He saw fear in the builder fear he had created. And before he knew what he was doing he was softly placing his hand on the older man's cheek and let out a defeated sigh.

**"How could you think….think I could ever hurt you"** it was almost lower then a whisper

**"I just thought…"** Jackson looked up at him and saw how his actions had hurt Aaron. He regretted letting the thought cross his mind.

**"Jay, I'd never, never again…"** he had scared Jackson enough that he truly thought he could ever strike him again, he felt lower than low

**"I know you wouldn't… and I'm sorry"** the builder didn't want to move, he just wanted to forget what had gotten them to this point and he wanted to kiss the mechanic hurt away so badly but feared he would pull away so he stayed there staring into Aaron piercing blue eyes not willing to look away.

Just as it looked as though Aaron might have given into the same emotions, their little world was broken.

**"Uhh I don't mean to interrupt but..."** Aaron swung around so fast he almost knocked them both over and saw Joe standing in the doorframe, **"the receptionist said she saw you come in here…."**

**"It's not…what it looks like… I mean urhh… you're not interrupting anything"**

**"Umm, well I told ya I would come out to let you know when you could see Kyle"**

Kyle. He needed to worry about him right now anything between Jackson and him had to wait this argument shouldn't have happened; they both were acting shameful even by his standards.

**"CAN I see him?"**

**"Yes he's stable and the surgery went well but…"** Aaron didn't want to listen too much else but as he tried to get by the nurse he blocked his way.

**"Listen…"** he continued, **"Just know he's still unconscious and there's going to be a lot of machines tubes, wires, noises and it's going to look way worse than it is right now"**

**"I know that mate just let me see him"**

Joe seemed satisfied with his warning so he turned and left the bathroom and Aaron was just on his heel when Jackson called his name.

**"Jackson I need to deal with this without you there, this shouldn't have happened….it's a mistake this is…go home"**

**"I'll be back in the morning"**

**"Just go…please."**

And with that he turned and caught up with the nurse.

* * *

He was desperate to see him.

As he stepped into the room it had been just as Joe had described. Too many wires and tubes and beeping sounds he was sure would drive him crazy.

He walked over to Kyle's side and saw that the architect had a large bandage wrapped around his head and a few bruises spotting the side of his face.

He pulled up a chair and just looked at him…he was in shock at seeing him this way he felt guilty for getting him involved in his problems with Jackson. It all seemed so ridiculous now, with everything going on he just felt like he might burst.

Before his emotions could get the better of him he felt Joe's hands rest on his shoulders, **"Mate, don't think the worst not until we know everything."**

**"But look at him…"** he had a face on like someone had kicked his dog, **"This is all my fault"**

**"How could this be your fault, the police already said he tripped and fell how could that possibly be your fault."**

**"Because..I.."** he couldn't get his words to form

"**No, I won't be having ya blame yourself for this, mate. It won't do no good"**

**"Hows about I go and get your uhh…guy maybe he'd be better support then some strange nurse"**

**"NO don't! I mean its okay I'm fine; I'm sure he's left by now. And his NOT my guy!"**

**"But? You just… you and he were"**

The mechanic just looked at him pleading for him to forget whatever he saw and he was eager to comply.

**"Umm… anyways I'll be checking up in ya when we get his test results in. But until then just try and get some sleep yah"**

**"Yeah probably right, thanks for being so … good about everything"**

**"That's my job"**

**"Yeah but you have been making this a lot easier than it should be…being that I'm not family…stupid rule by the way"**

**"Hey!"** throwing his hands up in surrender, **"Preaching to the converted"**

**"Get some sleep, see ya in the morning"** and then he was left with to his own

'_At least there's one person I'll be glad to tomorrow'_ he thought to himself because he sure wasn't up for Jackson.

* * *

xx

TBC

REVIEWS = MOTIVATION Tell me if you like it or loathe it

P.S. Sorry about all the arguing I just loved when these two would argue on screen, always saying the wrong things, regretting them later, going to far always going around in circles, thats just how they were. I hope I haven't ruined Joe's character for anyone.


	11. Next of Kin?

It's been really hard finding motivation but I have finally got through this chapter I'm determined to finish this story. I hope you like it

Already started writing the next one, reviews will help motivate me to write... love to hear what you think?

Again these characters do not belong to me, but a girl can wish though.

* * *

His neck felt like hell and there were no words for the pain radiating down his back as he attempted to stretch in the limited space of his front seat. He must have feel asleep last night when he was sitting here thinking about what a mess he was in. He didn't know where to go from here he had said he would be back to the hospital in the morning but Aaron seemed less than pleased about the idea and his body was telling him he needed a shower and some decent kip.

He reached over towards the passenger seat and gathered up his things and when he looked back he found the vet standing at his driver's side window it's scared the crap out of him. The vet looked a bit worried but then again, when didn't he? Well, here goes nothing. As he reached for the door handle and jumped out.

"Hiya, Paddy."

The older man didn't waste time with formalities, "Where's Aaron? Been trying to get in touch with him and he hasn't showed up to the garage, and Cain's not exactly happy about that either, he's gonna get a right earful for it I'm sure."

"Paddddy."

The older man let out a breathless laugh, "Sorry rambling again, well do you know where he is?"

"He's…umm…well see he's…" the vet could see the hesitation in his voice which gave him reason for his fussin'

"Jackson what is it I've been up worried sick and he's not answering my calls and I've got some random motor in my lot!"

"He's at the hospital Paddy because…"

"WHAT? Wh-Wh do you means he's in hospital, is he h-hurt? What happened you were supposed to be talking t-to him how'd he end up there? I h-have to get over, I gotta tell Chas… She's going have me head for this! Why haven't you called me? Where aren't you with him?"

Paddy was rambling AGAIN and demanding answers but then continuing to ask another question before Jackson could get a word in.

"PADDY! It's not him. He's not hurt. It's his umm…mate"

"Mate? What mate…who Adam?" the mechanic didn't really have mates other than Adam and Jackson who else could it be, right.

"No, not Adam it's a long story Paddy but it's an old mate, his name is Kyle."

"Kyle? wait not The Kyle as in…?" but paddy stopped himself fearing he had said to much about something Aaron had confided in him about and he wasn't sure what the mechanic had shared with the builder.

That really rattled the builder's bones. So Aaron seemed have discussed the guy to Paddy enough for him to refer to the architect as "The Kyle" for god sakes.

"YES! Paddy and I KNOW about 'THE KYLE'"

"Umm…" trying to get rid of the awkwardness Paddy asks "What's Aaron doing there? Wasn't even aware that they were even speaking. Better question, why's Kyle even in the hospital?

"Well, they ran into each other in town don't know much else…He kind of had an _'incident'_ and his head's pretty banged up and he's unconscious." he felt awful about lying to the vet but he still hadn't gotten his head around what he had done and really wasn't ready for the earful he would be getting from people once or if they ever found out.

"Oh my…" the vet's eyes widened and his hand came up to his mouth to hide the shock, "please tell me this _"incident"_ wasn't Aaron's doing"

"Of course not Paddy! It wasn't his fault…" relief flooded through the older man at the news

"Thanks god, Then I'm guessing that's Kyle's motor in my lot, eh?" which received a nod from the builder

"I have to go over there he's gonna need somebody and maybe he can make sense of all this."

"Yeah Paddy…but I came to get a shower in and head back over there I could just keep ya posted on what's going on if you like."

"I'd rather be over there myself; do ya want me to wait for ya?"

He thought it maybe if Paddy was there then they wouldn't row. He hoped.

"Yeah cheers Paddy. I'll make it quick."

* * *

He hadn't slept a wink, he was too busy tossing and turning in the hospital's very uncomfortable bedside chair. He had decided to stay beside Kyle's bed for the night even though Joe had sent someone in to bring him some blankets and show him how to turn the little couch into a recliner. Besides he didn't want to sleep just in case Kyle woke up. The doctors still hadn't come in to tell him much but a few nurses had come to check his vitals and they weren't much help. A bunch of useless people he thought well expect for Joe but his rounds were over and he wasn't expecting him until later.

The consistent sounds coming off the heart monitor become something of a soothing sound as his eyes got heavy through the night. They were a sign that Kyle wasn't making a turn for the worst.

Paddy had been ringing all last night and Cain was probably already calling him off the hook probably to give him a thrashing about not being at work to open up the garage. He didn't want to deal with anyone until he heard something, anything about Kyle's condition. But he decided to turn it off last night he just couldn't be bothered with it all.

So much had happened in a matter of two days but if he's honest with himself he's not all that surprised he seems to getting better at messing everything up.

Before he could finish his pity party in walked Joe with a big smile on his, too much of a happier camper for this time of the day aaron thought.

"Good morning!"

"Hiya, someone woke up on the right side of the bed."

"What you on about?"

"You're practically blinding me with that gob of yours." This earned him a smile as big as a Cheshire cat.

"How'd you sleep...?" he asked as looked over to see that the blankets he had sent for appeared to be folded on the couch. That fixed his smiling problem as it turned into a scowl.

"So either you just act like you the hate morning but really wake up extra early to make your bed or you didn't accept my offer of a half decent kip."

"Wouldn't have made much of a difference mate, cheers though."

"Let's go grab a cup a coffee and get out of this room, for a bit, maybe it will help."

Although, he enjoyed the small bit of distraction the nurse provided his attention was directed back to Kyle's motionless body. "Have you got any news first?"

"Actually that's why I'm here."

"Well why didn't you say so!" he felt a little irritated that the nurse had news and wasted talk with a bunch of small talk instead of given him some information that might help ease his mind.

"Aaron, relax okay, I'm not here to give you any news I'm afraid but I know the doctors will be coming around soon, though. Let's go out to the waiting room and talk."

"I don't want to leave him here"'

"It will only be a minute give your legs a chance to stretch out." He decided maybe getting out there for there wouldn't be the worst idea so he led the way.

First they both grabbed a coffee and made it over to the family room. Aaron couldn't wait any longer to hear what this was all about.

"Okay, what is it then?"

"Well, you know that you aren't allowed privileged information unless you are related or his partner, right?"

At Joe's words a panic seemed to set in over the younger guy, "Are you telling me I have to leave? Joe I need to be here, I can't leave him here."

"Aaron please calm down you're not making things easier by freaking out."

"Sorry"

"What I was going to say was that I kinda put you on the list." The mechanic didn't understand how that would work, who would believe that.

"As what, his brother…do we look like any brothers you know and I'm a bit young to be his pops!"

"Not exactly, Aaron…they think you're his partner." it made Aaron practically fall out of his chair.

"You what…? Did you ever think about when he wakes up and tells everybody the truth or if they get in touch with his actually family?" that didn't seem to faze the nurse at all.

"If he's your mate I'm sure he'll understand that you just didn't want to leave him by himself."

"Ok fine but what if his involved already…not sure the guy will be so understand about this?"

That was the first time he had even considered the possibly that Kyle might have been seeing someone after all the guy was well fit and a nice bloke. The guy was about the jump his bones a day ago could he possibly have someone...could he?

"Fine! I didn't think it through Okay! So much for doing a good deed, eh?" the nurse felt like an idiot he knew he shouldn't have done it but he just couldn't see the guy suffer just because of some stupid rule, he knew too well how it felt to be on Aaron's end and he just couldn't bear it.

"Aaron, I'm putting my neck out for you, here. I need you to go along with it when the doctors come in."

"Joe I don't know if I can do this. Not exactly comfortable with being gay let alone acting like some heartbroken lover waiting by his bedside"

"Not much a change from what you are doing now!" that made Aaron glare at the nurse with eyes laced with rage.

"Aaron, I mean please you have to, I could lose me job for this, PLEASE! I did this as a favor to you, you owe me that." But before the begging nurse could get an honest answer out of the mechanic in walked a man in a white lab coat.

Judging by Joe's face and the guy's clothing, Aaron knew this had to be Kyle's doctor.

"Are you here for Kyle Walker?" that made both men stand straight up from their chairs.

The man walked over to the mechanic and extended to his hand out to introduce himself, "Hello, my name is Dr. Reed, Kyle's doctor."

He obviously knew Joe because he gave him a sideways acknowledgment which Joe didn;t return before turning is full attention back to Aaron.

Aaron reached out to take the doctor's hand in his. "Aaron." He simply stated.

He felt as though both men were burning holes into him as he released his hand from the doctor's grip.

"Ah, so it says here that you are the patient's partner then."

Aaron looked down at the clipboard where his name seemed to be jumping off the page at him.

He looked towards the nurse and he's eyes were pleading with him to agree. He felt so trapped but he knew what he had to do.

The mechanic turned back to the doctor before saying, "Uh, yeah that's me, I'm Kyle's….partner."

Just as he made his declaration in walked Jackson and Paddy, both men couldn't hide their shock at hearing what Aaron had said.

Once Aaron saw them, he cursed his rotten luck, this could get ugly...fast.

* * *

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